abyss
–noun | 1. | a deep, immeasurable space, gulf, or cavity; vast chasm. |
Lately I've been feeling really shitty and bummy (thanks for a great month March). Like the definition above, I feel like I've been falling through an endless hole, trapped in an abyss. Starting to feel nothing but apathy, lost my sense of emotions that it's starting to hurt when I smile. Tired of the same old world I see everyday, I feel better with my eyes closed than to rather have them open. A month of disappointments and failures that only leads to a road towards more obstacles to get through with.
Boy, was that emo.
I was hoping the past Friday to be the highlight of the month, but as always things never go my way, so I ended up working on a Friday night, again. My music and band are the only thing left that keeps my sanity in check. Speaking of my band, we gotta look for another vocalist again! What the effff mang?!?!?!? Things were looking so well with the project, now we're back to square one. Money is tight, but nowadays whose money isn't?
Have I mentioned how last week, I was reunited with a friend named "cigarettes"? Surprisingly I had about 4 that night and man did it felt good. For a few minutes I felt like I was in a world where all my burden was lifted upon my shoulders, as soon as it got to to filter, I was hit and sent back to reality. Now I know what Chandler meant when he said smoking is cool. Haha. And this whole e-cigarette thing is sick as well. Gotta love technologies and them goddamn Asians that make them LOL.
I cannot wait until school is over, I loved the feeling of having nothing to worry about. Reminds me of last summer when I was in Japan, slept and did not have a care in the world. No assignments to do, no tests to study for, no need to wake up for work, just pure chill and satisfying indulgence. Of course this summer won't be like that but at least I won't have school to worry about, especially when it's for 4 months as well! Next year seems to be the year to proves if I'm worthy of having the education that is given to me. I swear I will be serious and focused that time around. This year can be labeled a "freebie" if you may. But nonetheless next year shall be judgment time. Not sure if I want to apply for co-op I'll be working all summer and spring, no breaks! GAYYYY. So yeah I don't know.
Dnim is this track of THE NOVEMBER's paraphilia mini-album by the way, SICK SONG.
Kudos.
