This past Sunday I turned 19, at last! Only greater things are to come right? Wrong. This week has been somewhat of a roller coaster for me. I usually don't like exposing my problems here, nor will I start. I might shed some light on it but that is about it.
To start off, can people really change? Or can they just con themselves for an indeterminate amount of time and then shed and show their true colours once more? How many chances must I give so that you can prove that you've changed? Also, how do you mend a soul whose organ, that pumps blood, has been damaged twice in a year? Is it bad to hold on? Even if the correspondent doesn't reciprocate to your expectations, should one just forget about them and move on? Or can one move on without having to eradicate the other from their life? A smile can say so much, yet it can hide so much more. Can you relate? Can you empathize with whats underneath this wounded skin? How much cigarettes do I have to smoke to make the day go by faster? To stop this void in my heart from getting any bigger? Is there a thread and a needle long enough to stitch it back closed? Or will time pass and wounds will slowly take care of it self? Do I dare be "soaked in bleach" to clean myself from my problems? "And I swear I don't have a gun", but sometimes I wish I did. When is it my turn for me to make some memories in the backseat? Am I already finished growing? Or am I still suppose to find myself? When will other people relative to my age grow up and look at the bigger picture? Maturity is a stage and a gift, don't skip it and don't take it for granted either. Sure there's a world out there, but one can't help be caught up in their own. Small or big problems are problems and as they stack up it puts a toll on one's mind and body. Is it fair or unfair? Do you believe in karma? Are we just puppets playing out roles in a book written by a greater spirit? Why is there such unnecessary deaths and crimes committed everyday? How many pats on the back until a downer is cheered up? Are drugs really that great? Does being in a state of ecstasy for a period of time worth all that risk? Are you willing to trade in your life for a stint at feeling sensational? Do promises even have value nowadays? Do tears eventually run out?
So many damn questions, too many damn thoughts, and an overwhelming amount of melancholy... I kind of went off topic during the latter...
To start off, can people really change? Or can they just con themselves for an indeterminate amount of time and then shed and show their true colours once more? How many chances must I give so that you can prove that you've changed? Also, how do you mend a soul whose organ, that pumps blood, has been damaged twice in a year? Is it bad to hold on? Even if the correspondent doesn't reciprocate to your expectations, should one just forget about them and move on? Or can one move on without having to eradicate the other from their life? A smile can say so much, yet it can hide so much more. Can you relate? Can you empathize with whats underneath this wounded skin? How much cigarettes do I have to smoke to make the day go by faster? To stop this void in my heart from getting any bigger? Is there a thread and a needle long enough to stitch it back closed? Or will time pass and wounds will slowly take care of it self? Do I dare be "soaked in bleach" to clean myself from my problems? "And I swear I don't have a gun", but sometimes I wish I did. When is it my turn for me to make some memories in the backseat? Am I already finished growing? Or am I still suppose to find myself? When will other people relative to my age grow up and look at the bigger picture? Maturity is a stage and a gift, don't skip it and don't take it for granted either. Sure there's a world out there, but one can't help be caught up in their own. Small or big problems are problems and as they stack up it puts a toll on one's mind and body. Is it fair or unfair? Do you believe in karma? Are we just puppets playing out roles in a book written by a greater spirit? Why is there such unnecessary deaths and crimes committed everyday? How many pats on the back until a downer is cheered up? Are drugs really that great? Does being in a state of ecstasy for a period of time worth all that risk? Are you willing to trade in your life for a stint at feeling sensational? Do promises even have value nowadays? Do tears eventually run out?
So many damn questions, too many damn thoughts, and an overwhelming amount of melancholy... I kind of went off topic during the latter...
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